Once mama was gone daddy realized his loneliness. I would come every Saturday night and go out to the local cafeteria to dinner with him. I would come to his house on Thursdays and go to lunch with him and spend the afternoon visiting. We would sit on the glider on the front porch, just like he and mama used to do.
He got a phone call from an old friend... someone he knew even before he knew mama. They grew up in the same neighborhood. She was Rosie and she had been twice widowed. She was a good friend and would call daddy every day. She was as lonely as he was. Daddy developed a romantic interest in her but she didn't return his feelings.
A couple of women from daddy's church would call to check in on him and would drop by with food and desserts. Daddy thought they were flirting with him. Maybe they were. I thought they were just being very nice to a lonely man who had recently lost his wife.
Daddy soon reached a point where he wouldn't go anyplace because he was afraid he would miss one of the "girls" phone calls. Daddy was afraid each of the women he was talking with on the phone would find out about the other women he was talking to. He was afraid his food gifts would stop and the phone calls would stop as well so he was really getting himself worked up with stress about them visiting and calling.
Rosie seemed to be his favorite but she didn't really seem interested in doing anything more that calling and talking about how lonely she was and how frightened she was to live by herself. He asked her to marry him. He wanted someone to move in and take care of him and he, in turn, would take care of her. She wouldn't have any part of it and in addition, my sister was FURIOUS that he would be thinking of remarrying so soon after mama was gone.
Daddy played this game for several years and then around the fall of 2006 he got sick. We're still not really sure what happened but he really became sick. He went through extensive test and the outcome simply wasn't good. He did get some strength back and was able to get around on his own. The doctor wanted him to exercise and he refused. He only wanted to lie around in his recliner, watch TV, and talk on the phone. My brother and sister and I pushed and cajoled and did everything we could to encourage him to exercise, to build his strength back but he seemed to enjoy the attention he got by being sick. The doctor was as frustrated as we were. Daddy had always been a difficult man to reason with and now he became even worse. Our only option was to stop doing those things that we knew he was capable of doing. It was hard to do. The guilt was hard to live with but we knew that NOT doing it would be worse for him.
In the Spring of 2008 my brother died. His health wasn't great but it was unexpected and it left only my sister and myself to take care of daddy. Daddy has continued to get weaker and more frail as time has gone on. We do all of his cooking and I do the house keeping when I visit. His decline has continued to the point where hospice is helping out. (stilll more to come)
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