The Truth Is....

My initial goal was to have a light hearted look at being a minister's wife but in order to be honest, it isn't all fun.  I can't help forming close bonds with the parishioners.  It might be easier for a more seasoned or (I hesitate to use this term) jaded minister or his wife, who has moved around several times to remain aloof, but for me, these people have been so loving and accepting of me that I just can't help myself.

When the Preacher and I were planning to get married, I was feeling anxious about my role as minister's wife and I talked with other people about it.  I talked with the minister who did our ceremony and I also talked with the local rabbi's wife.  She came into the gallery where I worked and was very friendly and approachable on the subject of being the wife of a religious leader.  I asked her what she found most challenging about being a rabbi's wife.  She said that her greatest challenge was seeing her husband struggle with his member's problems and their emotional effect on him and knowing that there was nothing she could do to help him.  I can see that and understand now exactly what she meant.

I can't begin to tell you how many funerals the Preacher has done since we came here 3 years ago but I know that since January of this year there have been 7 funerals.  Seven.  These have all been people that we have come to know and love since we arrived.  How would you like to speak at 7 friend's funerals?  It isn't easy and I watch him struggle with his own emotions and with offering comfort to the family.  It just isn't easy, it can't be.


The rabbi's wife also said that so much was expected of her personally.  The advice she offered was this... "You will be asked to do many things and expected to do many things but whatever you do, do it because it is what you want to do and do it from the heart and it will show.  If you can't do it from the heart, don't do it."  She said that others may not like it but ultimately you have to live with yourself.  She was right on the mark with that as well.  If you try to participate in everything that goes on, you will be consumed.   



But at times it is consuming.  We are brothers and sisters in Christ here in this church.  It's how we are supposed to view ourselves and our community.  When our brothers and sisters hurt, we hurt.  When they worry, we worry.  When they need help, we give it.  When they are sick, having surgery, have problems with their children, their job, their parents, spiritual crises, we are right there in the thick of it, praying along with them and the thing is that we genuinely care, it isn't an act.


It isn't easy when you see people not treating one another as they would want to be treated or when you are treated unfairly.  We must be better than this.  We know better.  We need to be Christians in the way we interact with everyone.  We Christians, all of us, are supposed to love one another just as we would our own blood brother or sister.  We should be able to always trust one another to do the right thing.... to treat each other as we want to be treated.  If we aren't doing that, what kind of message are we sending out to the rest of the world?  


Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.   - Colossians 3:12-14