Something I miss....

Kneelers.....

In the Episcopal Church it is customary to enter the church quietly, find a seat,  and immediately kneel and  pray to prepare your mind and heart for worship.  Visiting and talking with one another occurs after the service.

I really miss having that quiet time of prayer and reflection and the kneeling for prayer.  Some of the churches have fold down kneelers the entire length of the pew and others have individual padded kneelers similar to the ones in the photo above.  Over the years I've spent a lot of time on my knees and I find there is a special comfort that I feel inside when I am in prayer in this manner.  With my head bowed, my body in a position of submission and supplication, I feel childlike.  I feel that my worries and concerns are being laid at the feet of one with more wisdom than  I and who can sort it all out and make things right.. When I arise I feel lighter, like a load has been lifted and I'm ready to worship without the weight of worry.

The Truth Is....

My initial goal was to have a light hearted look at being a minister's wife but in order to be honest, it isn't all fun.  I can't help forming close bonds with the parishioners.  It might be easier for a more seasoned or (I hesitate to use this term) jaded minister or his wife, who has moved around several times to remain aloof, but for me, these people have been so loving and accepting of me that I just can't help myself.

When the Preacher and I were planning to get married, I was feeling anxious about my role as minister's wife and I talked with other people about it.  I talked with the minister who did our ceremony and I also talked with the local rabbi's wife.  She came into the gallery where I worked and was very friendly and approachable on the subject of being the wife of a religious leader.  I asked her what she found most challenging about being a rabbi's wife.  She said that her greatest challenge was seeing her husband struggle with his member's problems and their emotional effect on him and knowing that there was nothing she could do to help him.  I can see that and understand now exactly what she meant.

I can't begin to tell you how many funerals the Preacher has done since we came here 3 years ago but I know that since January of this year there have been 7 funerals.  Seven.  These have all been people that we have come to know and love since we arrived.  How would you like to speak at 7 friend's funerals?  It isn't easy and I watch him struggle with his own emotions and with offering comfort to the family.  It just isn't easy, it can't be.


The rabbi's wife also said that so much was expected of her personally.  The advice she offered was this... "You will be asked to do many things and expected to do many things but whatever you do, do it because it is what you want to do and do it from the heart and it will show.  If you can't do it from the heart, don't do it."  She said that others may not like it but ultimately you have to live with yourself.  She was right on the mark with that as well.  If you try to participate in everything that goes on, you will be consumed.   



But at times it is consuming.  We are brothers and sisters in Christ here in this church.  It's how we are supposed to view ourselves and our community.  When our brothers and sisters hurt, we hurt.  When they worry, we worry.  When they need help, we give it.  When they are sick, having surgery, have problems with their children, their job, their parents, spiritual crises, we are right there in the thick of it, praying along with them and the thing is that we genuinely care, it isn't an act.


It isn't easy when you see people not treating one another as they would want to be treated or when you are treated unfairly.  We must be better than this.  We know better.  We need to be Christians in the way we interact with everyone.  We Christians, all of us, are supposed to love one another just as we would our own blood brother or sister.  We should be able to always trust one another to do the right thing.... to treat each other as we want to be treated.  If we aren't doing that, what kind of message are we sending out to the rest of the world?  


Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.   - Colossians 3:12-14

Always Expect the Unexpected

Wow, what a week this has been!  We got one of those calls that absolutely fills you with dread....from one of our church members,  "I've been trying to call Mrs. ZZZZ all morning and can't reach her.  I told her I would drop something by first thing this morning but I can't reach her.  I've been to her house and there's no answer at the door."  This same Mrs.ZZZZ is a widow who is fiercely independent, lives alone and has had a number of falls.  She is VERY predictable and punctual and so it was unlike her not to be home if she was expecting someone to be at her house.  The Preacher and I headed to her house to check on her.  


We couldn't tell if her car was home but the house was locked up tight.  We contacted the Sheriff's office and they sent someone right over.  Then a parishoner came by, then another 3 deputies... then a neighbor who had Mrs. ZZZZ's daughters' name and phone number and also had Mrs. ZZZZ's house key.  The daughter said her mother wasn't with her and so the deputies decided to check in the house to see if maybe she'd had a fall and couldn't answer the door or phone.  We were all silently praying that the car would be gone and she would be out shopping or something like that.  They got into the house and opened the garage door from there.  As the door went up, my heart sank.... there was the car.  I then waited for the deputies to come out of the house, fearing the worst.  


The deputies  finally came out and said she was NOT in there.  They had searched everywhere.  Apparently Mrs. ZZZZ was away with someone and had forgotten that someone was coming by that morning.  We let the daughter know what we had found and to let us know if she heard anything.  An hour or so later the phone at the parsonage rang and it was Mrs. ZZZZ saying that she was back at home and safe.  She had been called away early that morning to assist a friend and thought it was too early to make any phone calls to let people know she would be away.  She apologized for worrying everyone but was very pleased to know that she was so much loved.  


Love one another.  Sounds like a good thing to do.  


"A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another."     John 13:34-35